I perceive my profile in such a way that I behave in such a way that if I am interested in something, I explore it down to the smallest detail and question everything out of enthusiasm (line 1).
But in order to be able to understand the whole thing and not stay in my head, life constantly sends me extraordinary experiences. I could write a new book every week about my life, about everything that has happened to me, without consciously searching for it. I have learned that everything I deal with mentally (line 1 consciously) is drawn by my system into matter and experience (line 3 unconsciously). Before I knew that, it was all unconscious and my life was a mess and I always wondered why such strange things always happened to me. Felt like a curse to me, others also reflected: what are you always doing??? Although I didn’t realize anything about it.
And over time I also realized that I could consciously go into experience with my knowledge; that was my biggest fear. Because experience often disproves pure knowledge and my fear of failure or fear of exposing myself kept coming back. I’ve felt like a failure my whole life. For others everything always seemed to go smoothly and my life seemed magical.
Today I love the “mistakes” I make, they let me and others see what works and what doesn’t. I love researching and then coming out with the results – no matter what they are.
I had that too, “I” preferred to hide and not be the center of attention and not be seen. I now know that this was a defense mechanism out of fear that I used to take away my glow.
One day a few years ago I decided to tell on my Instagram account exactly what I never wanted to tell anyone because I labeled myself and my spiritual experiences in particular as crazy and from then on my life went in a completely different direction. It is precisely these extraordinary experiences that make me special and that others also want to see in me. I accepted myself and showed myself with everything I am and that caused a massive change in my life that changed ALL components over time. My partner, my family relationship, my place of residence, my surroundings, myself from the inside out. Just everything. In doing so, I transformed my incredibly deep self-doubt. Instead of being a victim of the 1/3, today I love and live it and celebrate it,
Because of this love for my profile, the quality of how it appears has changed, today my life is still enchanted because it gives me incredible experiences in the positive area where I always think to myself woooooow what else is possible. I got a real hunger for life and before I just wanted to be dead. This shows me that everything that seems negative to us in life can be turned into the exact opposite.